Wretched Man

Recently I was rude to a telemarketer who called the church office. The church secretary was out and I made the mistake of answering the phone. The poor man who called was just trying to make a living. I was unnecessarily abrupt, downright discourteous. I've asked the Lord for forgiveness and would apologize to the telemarketer if I could speak to him again.

One of the disappointing things about getting older, for me at least, is my limited progress in spiritual growth. Twenty or thirty years ago, when I thought of being the age I am now, I assumed I would reach a point of unbroken holiness, steady faith, and unflappable joy in the Lord. I imagined I would be winsomely Christlike in character, always displaying the fruit of the Spirit.

Now the years have passed and here I am. I suppose I have made progress, but there are plenty of days when I don’t resemble that guy I hoped to be.  

This is a humbling truth that even the Apostle Paul learned the hard way. Right in the middle of writing Romans, Scripture's most exalted explanation of God’s redemptive plan, Paul spoke of his own spiritual life. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24)

But this blog is not called “Disparaging Myself” but “Admiring Christ.” And here are two truths I've learned, both of which cause me to admire and exalt my Savior.

First, as Paul said, nothing good dwells in me (Romans 7:18).  My past expectations of spiritual attainment had a distinct element of pride. I guess I thought of spiritual progress like getting in physical shape. If I do so many reps, I'll get stronger. But Christlikeness isn't just "working out" spiritually. It's character change, and that doesn't come from my just "putting in the time."

Second, I need Christ every day. Salvation is not just an event in my history, but it is an ongoing work of grace. To believe in Christ is to turn from your sins and trust in Christ alone. Scripture promises that with that kind of faith comes justification (Romans 5:1). It is a completed act, God's declaration that I am righteous in Christ.

Scripture also commands that I grow spiritually, but in grace. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ... 2 Peter 3:18a. I need His grace every day, and in that sense I am "being saved." Every day I need His forgiveness and the covering of His blood. Every day I need to turn to His wisdom rather than rely upon my own. Every day I need to yield to His strength, the power of His Spirit, instead of trusting the carnal energy of my own broken-down flesh.

It's never about anything I earn by my effort, but always about the merit of Christ, the overflowing impact of His taking my place both in keeping God's law perfectly and in bearing the punishment for my sins. It always comes back to Jesus. And I, in humility and regret, in gratitude and joy, keep learning that.

Here’s a video of a song we sing in church. It's a joyful confession that "All I Have is Christ."