When People Don't Like You

How do you feel when you know someone doesn’t like you? 

I find it uncomfortable. Especially when, as far as I know, I haven’t done anything to offend the person. Some people just don’t take to you. Who knows why?

I suppose it doesn’t matter to some people whether they are well-liked or not.  I’m not one of those people. It matters to me, more than it should.

Look, I know you can’t make anyone, let alone everyone, like you. And if you hang your happiness on how popular you are, you might as well resign yourself to being miserable. I know this is true.

When you live, work, play, and go to school with people, you can’t avoid the reality that some of those people are just not going to like you. And of course we often make matters worse by doing and saying things that justifiably tic people off.

All of which makes me admire the Lord Jesus so much. Because He chose someone to be one of His closest associates who hated Him and wanted Him dead. He treated that person with love and kindness and courtesy, just like the other eleven disciples.

What must it have been like for the Savior to have always known Judas would betray Him? Christ carried on, day after day, all the while expecting He would feel the cold kiss of Judas in the Garden one day.

When you think about it, though millions of us love Christ, millions hate Him, curse Him, and would nail Him to a cross every day if they got the chance.

Jesus didn’t need the approval of Judas or anyone else to feel good about Himself. It was enough to hear, You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased. Luke 3:22

Here’s a truth deeper than all the games people play: if you belong to Him, what does it matter whether you receive the approval of anyone else?

Knowing Whose You Are

When I was young, back when the earth's crust was cooling and dinosaurs walked the planet, it was popular to say things like "I'm just trying to find myself. I want to discover who I am."

Yeah, we actually said stuff like that. It seemed really important--finding yourself, looking inward to discover that special, unique, and incredibly awesome person that was You.

Some people wasted their entire college careers trying to find themselves, as opposed to finding a way to support themselves whether they found themselves or not.

Anyhow, over the years I've learned that there isn't that much to discover about myself after all. Knowing who I am is pretty disappointing. You meditate and cogitate and hallucinate, and you arrive at the conclusion that there's no wonderfulness deep down inside of your precious little self. You're basically a broken, sinful person in desperate need of solutions you cannot produce yourself.

What I've come to believe is that knowing whose you, not knowing who you are, is the important thing. Maybe that's not good English, but it is good for the soul.

My answers, solutions, redemption, hope, and healing all come from the One whose very name is Savior. Belonging to Him is the best thing about me.

The other day I was reading in Mark's gospel where Jesus said, For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward (9:41). It's a great promise, but it was that phrase "because you belong to Christ" that got to me. I thought, I belong to Christ!

I will probably never understand why the Lord set His affection upon me. He chose me before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). The truth is, I'm basically a sheep, not so bright, prone to wander into trouble, to get tangled up and confused. But my Shepherd is awesome!

What Did He Teach?

In my last post I wrote about Christ as Master Teacher. But what did He teach?

Over and over the Gospels answer that question with verses like this: And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. Mark 8:31. (See also Mark 9:31; Mt. 16:21; Lk. 9:22)

But why did this require "teaching?" Wasn’t it simply the declaration of an upcoming event? Granted, the most important, life-altering, history-making event ever. But why was the Savior “teaching” this? Doesn’t “teaching” imply a process of instruction, and not a simple announcement?

Why would the fact of His upcoming death and resurrection be the subject of ongoing instruction?

Answer: because Jesus’ substitutionary death and resurrection is the heart of our faith. Some Christians think of Jesus’ death on the cross as the A-B-C’s of our faith, the elementary, beginning part. But Jesus taught this because it is the beginning, middle, and end of everything.

We never outgrow the cross. The gospel relates to everything about our life and our destiny, our families and our careers, our relationships and our character. Far from an elementary lesson, the cross is the Master Class.

In heaven the cross continues to be the central topic of wonder and praise. The numberless chorus of angels worship Christ for this very reason: Worthy are you…for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9

I admire Jesus as the Master Teacher, and as I read and study and try to obey, His teachings continue to point me back to the cross and the empty tomb.

Master Teacher

Dr. Bruce Shelley

Bruce Shelley taught my college Sunday School class and was my church history professor in seminary. He was the best teacher I've ever had. He died in 2010 at age 82.

I learned a lot more from Dr. Shelley than church history. He was a scholar who cared passionately about the truth. He showed me that academics and conviction could go together. As a speaker and writer, he was eloquent but plain-spoken, and he made me want to be both.

Bruce Shelley was a master teacher, and he made me appreciate the real Master Teacher even more.

The longer I follow Jesus, the more I admire Him as a teacher. He is simply the best of the best. His stories (like the Prodigal Son or the Good Samaritan) and His parables (like the Soils or the Persistent Widow) effortlessly combine Old Testament imagery, contemporary culture, and timeless truth to teach lessons that have captured people's imaginations for over 20 centuries.

Sometimes Christ's critics try to reduce His life and mission to His teaching--like He's just a good teacher. Even that is a backhanded compliment. They can't deny His brilliance, though they are blind to the authority that lies behind it.

I realized the other day that I've been pondering Jesus' lessons all my adult life. I know I still don't understand all the layers and subtleties of them. His teachings are simple and memorable, while at the same time being nuanced and mysterious.

Thirty-five years as a pastor, attempting to teach His word myself, have convinced me that there is only one Master Teacher among us. How grateful we must be that He gave us His word until we get to hear Him in person.

Making Him Proud

When I was in seventh grade, Mr. Watson, the history teacher and football coach, gave us junior high boys a lecture on proper conduct. I can’t remember what sort of mischief he was warning us about, but I do remember his punch line: “bad behavior reflects on your parents.”

My admiration for my father approached hero-worship, and the thought that I might somehow embarrass him was horrifying to me. The hope of making Dad proud and the fear of causing him shame continue to motivate me, even though he’s been gone for many years.

I guess that’s why, for me, reading Jesus’ words in Mark 8:38 are like a punch in the stomach. The Savior said, For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

I know He’s not talking to Christians. This is a warning to those who reject Christ. Being ashamed of Him and His words now means facing divine rejection in eternity. The Savior they refused will be ashamed of them, to their eternal damnation.

But still. I can’t help but feel how terrible it would be to embarrass the Lord Jesus. And I know it's true--my behavior does reflect upon Him. The hope that I might make Him proud, and the fear of embarrassing Him, make me want to be a better man and a better Christian.

I bet you feel the same.

Dependency?

I admire Jesus' willingness to depend on God. 

Which seems strange since He is God. But you keep running into verses like this one: And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit… Luke 4:14

That comes right after He fasted for 40 days and resisted the onslaught of the devil's temptations. So He came back to His hometown in the Spirit's power.

But why was He not returning "in the power of His own spirit?" He is perfect Man as well as perfect God, after all. And aren't men supposed to develop their potential, strengthen their inner selves, become independent, strong, and powerful? Isn't that what we're often told, sometimes by pastors and Bible teachers?

Apparently Jesus had not consulted the positive-thinking, inner-strengthening gospel. As the perfect Man, He did not exemplify independence or autonomy. Instead He depended upon His Father's guidance, and relied upon the Spirit's power. He even learned obedience by what He suffered (Hebrews 5:8). He said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing..." (John 5:19).

Evidently human perfection is really about obeying  and depending upon Almighty God. No one can deny that the Lord Jesus Christ is a man's man. He is fearless, focused, and strong. But He walked, not in His own strength, but in the power of the Spirit.

He Does All Things Well

Jesus probably worked in the family carpentry shop before beginning His public ministry. You can be sure that everything He made—chairs, plows, cabinets—was solid, functional, and beautiful.

So years later, when people said of Him, “He has done all things well” (Mark 7:37), we’re not surprised. He had always been doing all things well.

Mark's gospel records how He transformed a man’s life, rather than a block of wood. The man had been deaf and mute, and Jesus gave him hearing and speech. When the crowd saw the miracle, their praise found its way into Scripture: He has done all things well!

You better believe it. Whatever He does, He does well. For example:

• He chooses His own well. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide... John 15:16

•  He pays completely the debt of our sins. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. Hebrews 10:14

• He keeps working in our lives. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

•  He prepares a wonderful place for us. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. John 14:2-3

•  He never stops praying for us.  Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25

Even when life seems extra hard and God seems far away, Jesus is still at work. He's cutting away at our rough lives, shaping and carving and sanding, to make us solid, functional, and one day, beautiful. He still does all things well.