Loss

Yesterday I read a novel and one of the characters, an elderly Holocaust survivor, told the story of his time in the Nazi death-camps. Like all good fiction, it was true. It made me cry. And so I wrote this.

Oh, loss. You hard and dull drag of a thing, you constant ache, you impairing crippling relentless howl.

I hate you.

I smell your smoking ovens, hear your cackling grave-watch, feel your creeping decay, see your black eye-sockets

Oh, loss.

You shyster, you faker, you shape-shifter, you fraud and counterfeit. Your dull drone drowns a song.

You sudden shimmering flashing horror show, you ugly painted harlot, you hammering knocking pretending stench.

Oh, loss.

I know you and dread you and try not to think of you and you won’t leave.

Oh, loss, loss, loss.

You dead and dying creeping crying decaying braying plaguing pretender.

Jesus will undo you, Jesus will erase you, Jesus will make me forget you forever and ever.

Have your fun now. Your time’s coming.

Oh, cross, cross, cross, where my Savior lost and lost and lost and sent time spinning and evil running and life coursing and coming.

Oh, grave where is your sting?

What Do You Value Most? Losing Temporal Trash to Gain Eternal Treasure

My friend was dying of cancer and so we talked about what mattered most to us. He had always wanted to own a Bentley, he told me. But now, facing eternity, his values had shifted. Even a Bentley won’t last forever, and there are no garages on the other side.

What do you value most?

Jesus told a little parable about a merchant who found a pearl of such exquisite worth that he was willing to liquidate all his assets to raise the money to try to buy it. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it (Matthew 13:44-46).

                       

What is your “pearl of great price”?

Thirty years after Jesus told that parable, the Apostle Paul spoke of how his own values had shifted. At one time his treasures were all about his heritage and his accomplishments.

But like my friend, his values underwent a radical change. As he sat in chains in Rome, regarded as an enemy of the state, he had good reason to believe he might be executed. And so he told his friends back in Philippi what his value system had become.

Paul's life had been like a financial ledger, and over the years he had been posting all the treasures he thought would get him closer to God in the “gains” column.

These included his pride in being Jewish, from the tribe of Benjamin, and being a native Hebrew speaker. And he rejoiced in his life’s accomplishments: being a Pharisee, the “special forces” of the religious community. His compliance with the external rules of the law was another source of pride. His “gains” column was full of his own works, and they were what gave him meaning and hope and self-importance.

But by the time he wrote from prison, he had moved all his treasures, so carefully collected and hoarded over the years, from the “gains” column to the “losses” column. And he made this stunning re-assessment of his life and values: